My Husband Prefers His Hand Over Me: Is It Normal For My Husband To Play With Himself
My husband prefers his hand over me - Is it normal for my husband to play with himself.
How can I make my husband to prefer having sex with me to masturbation? This is one issue that is currently bothering a lot of women and they need some tips to help them feel happy and take the marriage to the next level.
You can make your husband to prefer having quality sexual intercourse with you to masturbation if you go about it the right way. Masturbation is usually described as self-love or solo love. If you find your husband masturbating when you are in the other room instead of having sex with you on a frequent basis, then it is wise you help him to break the cycle of behavior.
When you decide to help your husband to meet this challenge, you must start with an evaluation. There are several reasons why your husband masturbates instead of having sex with you.
If you concentrate only on making him to stop masturbation, he will return to this addiction after a short period of success. So, why does your husband masturbate? It could be because he is lonely, bored, hurt, stressed, or it could be because of some pains from the past.
Here are some easy steps you can follow that may help him prefer having sex with you:
Talk to him. A loving wife will converse with her husband about his activities, his problems, his views on various matters. He needs this. Tell him what you are going through when he ignore you sexually. Be careful how you approach the issue because you don't want to sound disrespectful or needy. He will be willing to listen to you when there are gently spoken words, gracious looks and gestures, understanding, tenderness and kindness. By putting every effort to talk in a healthy manner, you and your husband will feel free to make your needs known.
It is important you are patient with him. It's great to let him know how you feel. You have to make sure you unselfishly seek the well-being of your husband and be able to accept whatever reasons he provides for indulging in masturbation without getting upset. If the two of you have been together for a while and you feel it is time he stops ignoring you sexually, you must be able to show some consideration and give him time to change.
If he is not interested in seeking help to stop masturbating then have a mature, calm, conversation with him and ask him to explain what you can do to make him sexually satisfied. Does he suffer from premature ejaculation? Or does he have some past experiences that he is afraid to face again with? These may be tough questions to ask, and tough answers to hear, but it's important that you find out the underlying cause of his behavior to save the marriage.
If the two of you have the same basic idea of where the marriage will go, it is wise you help him deal with his feelings. The ability to deal with feelings correctly is a skill that can be learned. Feelings are the true result of your thoughts. The way your husband interprets the world in his mind determines how he will feel. He decides how he feels about things. If your husband masturbates because he feels bored or some painful events of the past then it is because he decided to feel bored. Nobody made him to feel bored or neglected. You are not to blame.
Many women say they are in a great marriage except their husbands prefer masturbating to having sex with them. To such women, I usually advise them to first win back their husbands to love and cherish them again before they can become successful in the marriage.
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Janis fought the urge to go inside. Her cookies waited; baking sheets, food coloring and powdered sugar beckoned her from inside. But still she sat on the stool in her husband's workshop, sipping her coffee while he ran the belt sander over the wood. Occasionally Bob would look up at her and smile, then go back to his task. Three times he asked her to do something; refreshing his coffee, finding a Phillips head screwdriver, handing him his safety goggles all drew but brief conversation from his lips. Finally after an hour, he was done for the day. "Thanks for being out here with me, honey. I really enjoyed your company," he told her, smiling. "I had a great time," she replied. What mystery of man had she uncovered? A very simple one indeed - her spouse, not unlike many men, spells "love," "t - i - m - e."
Tip #1: "Watch Me!"
One of the most common phrases out of any little boy's mouth is, "Watch me!" Men are wired from birth to desire spectators - think sporting events. So if your husband has a chore to do, do it with him! Find a way to hand him tools if he's repairing a faucet, hold the flashlight while he works on the garbage disposal, or chop some vegetables while he's making dinner. Your role may not be very productive in your mind, but research shows that men like to be admired - one of the simple ways wives can communicate that admiration is to be shoulder to shoulder with their husbands in activities.
Tip #2: Let Him Lead His Way
Sandra caused a huge conflict when she started telling her husband how to build a bookshelf they had picked up from the store. "He and I had different ways of doing it; mine was to follow the directions, his was to follow his head. Once I figured out he was trying to outsmart the guy who had written the directions, like it was some competitive thing, I shut up and let him do it his way and we got along better. I couldn't look at the directions though! We ended up with the bookshelf built, and it really didn't matter how we got there." Be wise about what hill you choose to die on when it comes to your husband - you may be right, but is it worth the cost?
Tip #3: Be Grateful
Kim's husband died last year, and she misses the hours she sat near him while he fished. "I eventually took up the sport with him because it gave me something to do, but he always let me know how much he valued my presence when he was on the lake. He just wanted me with him, and doing that several times a week made our years together just beautiful. Sure, I sometimes wished I was getting something done or doing something I really enjoyed, and I can't say as I really understand why he liked it so much, but Thomas just wanted me around, and now that he's gone, I can look at those times and really smile, knowing my husband enjoyed my company."
Bottom Line: Spend time hanging out with your husband on his terms and be a spectator. It requires very little effort on your part and results in the huge dividend of friendship!
You CAN save your marriage - even if your spouse says that they want a divorce.
You CAN rebuild that passion you felt for one another when you first kissed. And you can bring back that love and devotion you felt for one another when both of you said, "I love you" for the first time.
If you feel like your marriage is worth fighting for, then do yourself a favour and visit the next page that will teach you everything you need to know about salvaging the most important thing in the world: Save Your Marriage Now
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