How to fix a marriage after growing apart - How to reconnect after growing apart.
When two people have grown apart they are each lonely. People need an emotional connection. If that is not there between the two people they tend to find it elsewhere. The emotional connection could come through investment in the children, work, alcohol, sports, affairs or any other interest that provides emotional sustenance. Couples who find themselves in this situation may manage the demands of daily living quite well together but be missing out on the love and friendship which intimacy provide.
How to reconnect when the emotional connection has been weakened over the years?
1. Do something that you know will please your partner
It is the little things that that have a long lasting effect on love. Your partner may feel pleasure if you cook something you know your partner likes, or finish a project that has been in process far too long, compliment on appearance, or suggest you will do something that you know he/she would enjoy.
2. One person can start the process of reconnecting.
When people are lonely they are also angry and feel betrayed by the other. Consequently human nature is to want the other one to start showing caring first. If you are the one who desires to reconnect then just start. The likelihood is great that your partner will respond. Remember both of you are feeling the lack of intimacy.
3. Spend some time thinking as to what gives you a warm sense of connectedness.
Get clear as to what you would like. What have you been missing? Is it the little touches, the sexual closeness, the talks, the joy of laughter, the sense that your partner adored you in spite of your imperfections.
4. Carry two goals within you simultaneously
The big goal is that you would like to rekindle your relationship. The action goals are the little steps you take every day by being fair, doing random acts of kindness, letting go of blame and criticism, by speaking in "I" messages and listening with an open mind.
5. Trust and love take time to be rekindled
It is through acceptance and giving that love is shown. You will find that gradually your loneliness and anger will lessen and friendship and intimacy will grow.
Do you want to learn the secret to a devoted marriage? How do those couples do it? How do they stay together for 10, 20, 30 years…and still feel that love, connection, and unbreakable desire for each other? The secret is revealed on the next page. So if you feel like your marriage is about to take its last few breaths, then I urge you to visit the next page: Click Here Now!
---------------------------------------------------
No one expects to have problems in their marriage. In fact, many marriages start off as good marriages. But, over time, some marriages can turn stale or even hostile. At any given time, vast numbers of couples are searching for ways to get their once healthy marriages back on track. There are five necessary conditions or factors which together can help you maintain (or rebuild) a strong, healthy marriage that lasts.
If you were to explore, you would probably find that virtually every troubled couple has neglected one or more of these key conditions. Of course, there are other things that can cause problems in a marriage, but neglecting these points can really put your marriage at risk.
1. Look after yourself first.
If you place your highest priority on your physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual self care, you won't wake up one morning to realize you have been a household servant or a meal ticket for the past decade.
Encourage each other in self-care from the beginning and in times of greatest need you will be able to really count on each other. If you have neglected self care in your life, you or your partner may not be willing to work on your marriage when the going gets tough.
Your highest priority has to be to take care of yourself at all levels. Do whatever you need to do. Self-care is the ultimate in unselfishness.
2. Do not merge your identities.
Always remember that each of you is a person in your own right. You have an identity.
Women in many cultures are particularly vulnerable to the trap of merging their identities with their partner's, but men fall into it too. We call it "codependency" when identities merge.
If you find yourself already slipping into merger, work on getting out of it. Always defend strongly your partner's right and your own right to be your own persons. Merged identities are incompatible with a healthy marriage.
3. Enjoy the show.
Pay attention to the changes in your partner as he or she evolves throughout life, and enjoy the show. There will often be spurts of personal growth and sometimes periods of stagnation, but the constant is change. That's the flow of life.
It's truly fun to watch our kids grow. Why should watching our partners grow be any different?
There is nothing to be afraid of. In an intimate relationship you have the privilege and opportunity to observe up close the twists and turns your partner will go through as he or she evolves.
Everyone changes; it's just that the changes are more subtle in a 45 year old than in a 15 year old.
Support the growth even if you don't understand it. Expect your partner to support you too as you evolve.
When I hear someone say, "He's not the man (or woman) I married," I know they are missing this crucial point. If they say, "I can't change-that's just the way I am," they are missing the point at an even more fundamental level.
4. Never stop doing things together for fun and laughter.
No matter how difficult and serious life gets at times, never stop doing things together for fun-things that make you laugh. Laughter is a requirement of any satisfying life. Laughter with a partner is part of the cement that can keep you together for a lifetime. Neglect it at your peril!
5. If you want more excitement, take up skiing...
Stay deserving of your partner's trust by steadfast fidelity. No matter what, don't have an affair. It offers a very temporary burst of excitement, but it is an assault few marriages can survive. (Many times an affair is staged simply to end a marriage.)
To rebuild trust and commitment after an affair you will probably need professional help, and even then there are no guarantees you will ever regain the level of trust you once had.
If you are an excitement junkie, find a more respectful way to get adventure.
Take time today to remember why you first got married. Most marriages are worth the work for a healthy, satisfying end result.
You CAN save your marriage - even if your spouse says that they want a divorce.
You CAN rebuild that passion you felt for one another when you first kissed. And you can bring back that love and devotion you felt for one another when both of you said, "I love you" for the first time.
If you feel like your marriage is worth fighting for, then do yourself a favour and visit the next page that will teach you everything you need to know about salvaging the most important thing in the world: Save Your Marriage Now
---------------------------------------------------
Related Resources
How To Change A Self Centered Husband
Why Is My Husband Not Attracted to Me Anymore
My Husband Prefers His Hand Over Me
Unbelievable but Truth!! Before my wife and I were able to reconcile, Fighting to reunite our marriage almost led me to frustration and unhappy life experience, We were living happily with our baby girl, 2021 my wife started acting strange, unknowingly she has been engaging online with another guy. We got separated months after which got me frustrated, Prayers are very important even when you have doubt. All thanks to ( Supremacy Love Spell ) on Facebook for his spiritual support and reconciliation prayers.