My Husband Hit Me For The First Time: My Husband Hit Me Once Should I Leave Him
My husband hit me for the first time - My husband hit me once should I leave him.
All close relationships, including marriage, will sooner or later have some conflict, it normally starts with something small or something that one of you feels strongly about, whatever the issue it must be addresses as soon as it arises. This article is based on my experiences; conflict in marriage-preventing escalation comes up often when I help couples with their problems.
When dealing with conflicts I always start at the beginning by getting the couples to talk about the causes of their conflicts, and almost always they fall into one or more of these categories.
Do not hold grudges that will lead to conflict, get the issue out in the open and whatever happens remember you need to deal with the outcome of the conflict with love and forgiveness.
Lack of Respect - in the beginning the love for each other was strong then life got in the way, life got harder and issues of respect suddenly came up. You must not allow yourselves to show a lack of respect for the others opinions or actions, talk about these issues when they arise, always keep in mind the love you have for each other.
Lack of Time - try to put aside even a few minutes every day, even when life is at its busiest, to be together. It only takes a moment of time to re-affirm your love for each other, and to bond against whatever life is dealing out to you.
Lack of Financial Goals - in today's economic climate this problem comes up time and time again, one partner is the saver or planner and the other is the spender. An important part of your 'together time' should be devoted to the mundane but important is issues of family budgets, sort financial problems before they start by planning for the future.
Lack of Shared Responsibilities - as well as financial planning, share out the responsibilities in the marriage so that you each have a fair share of them. If you fail to do this and one or other perceives that they do more, then this will lead to a brooding resentment and conflict.
Unsolicited Advice - another on my most 'often heard' list of conflicts, please remember that your partner may occasionally be grateful for your loving advice, but keep your advice and opinions within bounds.
Lack of Sexual Desire - one of the problems least discussed in most marriages, and in many cases the most important. Go back to the beginning, sexual desire and contact was probably the easiest part of the relationship, however life, kids, careers, all got in the way and gradually at first sexual desire for each other began to diminish.
To rekindle the flame you need to put aside time for each other, restore romance to the marriage, make an effort to look good for your partner, remember the ordinary things like personal hygiene, which is important as well.
Do you want to learn the secret to a devoted marriage? How do those couples do it? How do they stay together for 10, 20, 30 years…and still feel that love, connection, and unbreakable desire for each other? The secret is revealed on the next page. So if you feel like your marriage is about to take its last few breaths, then I urge you to visit the next page: Click Here Now!
---------------------------------------------------
When you bond with and commit to a long-term marriage relationship with another human being, you usually start from a place of peace. Both of you are accepted and loved and are interested in the interests, activities and passions of the other. There may be a lot going on, but your relationship is one of peace.
As the trials and tribulations of life intervene, there will be periodic conflict, at least if you are both alive. Conflicts can be dealt with however, and the hope is that any time there is a disagreement the two of you can resolve it and move on...
Turn the clock ahead, say 20 years. Are you enjoying each other's company? Are you able to resolve your differences most of the time? When something bad happens like illness or loss, do you become closer and more supportive in working through the ordeal? In short, have you maintained your peace with each other? Or were you mostly unable to deal with your differences, and did your differences turn into hostile conflicts? Did sickness or loss push you further apart? Do you find yourself walking on egg shells? Are you holding back from each other to keep the peace? These are signs, not of peace, but of a truce, a cease-fire.
For the two in a marriage relationship, as with two warring nations, the truce is not a happy place. It may be temporarily practical, but seldom more than an uneasy peace.
If you find your marriage in the state of truce, the question of whether or not it can be fixed will come up. But underlying that question is a more fundamental one, "Do you both want it to be fixed?" Or is one or both of you just hoping the other will leave and end the marriage? Asking it another way, do you deeply wish you weren't married to this person, but refuse to be the one to break your commitment?
If you find yourself in a long-term truce, I have some marriage advice for you in the form of two suggestions. The first is that you make a close examination of your values and belief systems. With reflection you may be able to root out some intrinsic beliefs that no longer serve you and get some clarity about what you really want.
My second suggestion is to bring it to a head. Bringing it to a head will leave you with two choices.
If you both want peace with each other and want the truce to be over, and you have never been completely successful with the rebuilding process on your own, you may well have to make a serious investment in professional help to coach you through the process.
Alternatively, if you have given up on peace with each other, you can make a serious investment in professional legal help to take you through the separation and divorce process.
For either alternative the goal is personal peace and freedom to be yourself.
There is no doubt that many couples get so used to the truce that they will never bring it to a head. Instead they just live out their lonely lives, waiting for the other to die first.
Sad because chronic unhappiness is not a mandatory part of life.
You CAN save your marriage - even if your spouse says that they want a divorce.
You CAN rebuild that passion you felt for one another when you first kissed. And you can bring back that love and devotion you felt for one another when both of you said, "I love you" for the first time.
If you feel like your marriage is worth fighting for, then do yourself a favour and visit the next page that will teach you everything you need to know about salvaging the most important thing in the world: Save Your Marriage Now
---------------------------------------------------
Related Resources
My Husband Says I Instead Of We
My Husband’s Family Doesn’t Like Me
My Wife Doesn’t Say Where She Goes