Will My Husband Miss Me During Our Separation: How To Tell If Your Husband Misses You During A Separation
Will my husband miss me during our separation - How to tell if your husband misses you during a separation.
I firmly believe that a separation does not have to be the end of your marriage. In fact, I believe that a separation that allows the time and distance to work for the marriage can actually make both people more committed to staying together and more determined to make things work. The reason for the change of heart often lies with the fact that the distance allows both people to see how much they actually care and miss the other person. This makes them realize that they don't to be without their spouse and that they don't want to be alone.
In the following article, I will offer some tips on encouraging your husband to miss you during the separation so that hopefully this will lead to him to want to come back to you as well.
Understand That This Process Sometimes Takes Patience. In The Beginning, He's Likely Just Feeling His Way And Hasn't Yet Processed How He Really Feels: One common issue that I see is that there's a real tendency to be so uncomfortable and worried while he is gone that you want to reach out very quickly. You are looking for validation or some good signs to make you feel better.
But what you might not realize at the time is that husbands who initiate a separation often fully intend to take their time during it. Many tell me that they asked for the separation because they wanted to see how they would feel in another scenario. They wanted the time to process their feelings without having to dialog with you while they were doing it. So, sometimes when you start asking how much he misses you, he will actually retreat even more because he feels like you are rushing him.
Often, he hasn't yet reached the point where he's thought much about his feelings. He's just trying to ease into this day by day - and then slowly, he will begin to see how this feels to him. But if you push, then you are making it more likely that you will not get the answer that you want.
Understand What It Takes For A Man To Miss A Woman During A Separation: Many women feel as if they have to control every aspect of their husband's life while he is away. They know that they are over reaching, but the fear takes over and they just can't help it. Because they worry that if they back off and he has too much fun, meets someone else, or decides that he really is happy and content alone, then their letting go even just a little bit would have been a huge mistake.
I do understand this. I went though this process myself and made many similar mistakes. But what I eventually came to realize that my forcing the issue wasn't going to make what I wanted any more likely. My continuing to show up and come on too strong couldn't possible assure me that none of my fears were going to happen. They actually were making my husband see me more negatively. But backing off gave me at least the chance that he would see me more positively.
And this truly is your whole goal. You want for him to get to a place where he has a quiet moment to himself, reflects on you, and decides that there truly were some good times that just might be possible to recapture. Without the fighting, the insecurities, and the conflict having a constant presence, he can think about you with a positive reaction rather than a negative one.
That's why it's so very important that if you suspect that what you are doing is bringing about these negative reactions, then you should consider changing strategies and seeing if there's a change to his out look or reaction.
Use Restraint When You Reach Out To Your Husband. And, For Every Contact That You Initiate, Try To Force Yourself To Wait Until He Makes The Next: If you are the only one who is making all of the attempts at communication, things are going to feel one sided to both you and your husband. That's why I advocate moving backward when you feel some resistance. And you likely know your husband enough to know when this is happening.
I believe that, as hard as it is, you are better off contacting him too little rather than too much. If it's too little, the chances are that he will reach out to you because he's wondering why he hasn't heard from you. If you do decide to contact him or to "just happen" to bump into him, then use restraint when this happens. You may feel like you want to talk and talk and confess how much you miss him and don't want to be without him. But try to force yourself to stop short of this.
Because the idea really is to leave him wanting more. You want every encounter to end well so that it leads to another one. And, when you are the one initiating the contact the first time, then it's always best to allow him to make the next move. Or at least to wait until enough time has passed between each encounter. Desperation is easy to spot and it usually doesn't inspire him to come back you. It just inspires him to avoid you.
If You Can't Pull This Off Face To Face Contact Right Now, Considering Keeping Things Light And Short With Technology (Like Texting, Facebook, Etc.:) Some women contact me and tell me that although they understand these principles, they have a very hard time with them in real life. I often have them tell me things like "I do want to play it cool. I'll psych myself up and try to act very casual, but the second I see him, I tear up, I get emotional and the jig is up. He can take one look at me and know exactly how I feel."
If this is the situation that you find yourself in, you may want to consider trying to use technology - texts, emails, Facebook messaging etc. This way, he can't see or hear you. Your words can seem very casual, flirtatious and light hearted even if your emotions are anything but. I literally had to go out of town for a while to just force myself to back away a little bit. And you know what? This made all the difference.
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HOW TO MAKE MY HUSBAND MISS ME- The 3 Steps!
Tip #1: GET BUSY DOING OTHER THINGS
This is so powerful and it works if you just do it. Most people become so depressed that all of their focus is on the negative side of their separation. Look separation is not fun, but it is also not the end of the world. Staying busy and productive will help you through this situation. Remember this article is "How to make My Husband Miss Me", right? Just get busy fast. Use this time to learn more about YOU and to become a better YOU! Here are a few ideas for you. Maybe you could...
* Join a Gym
* Focus more on your Career
* Join a Church
* Yoga Class
* Set up & organize coffee with your friends weekly
* etc.
Tip #2: BE FUN and KEEP THINGS LIGHT
If you really want your husband to miss you, you have to give him a reason to miss you, right? What does your husband like? What made him marry you in the first place? See what I am getting at? If you were fun in the beginning than be fun again, get back to who you were and who you are and he will remember you before the pressures of a marriage took there toll. Avoid serious conversations for now and do not pressure him, he will run if you do.The good news is that you are only/maybe separated right now and not divorced yet. Don't blow it with a bunch of emotional madness.
Tip #3: COMPLIMENT HIM
Men love to be complimented. They have always been like that and always will. When is the last time you offended your husband by complimenting him? Thanks him for the things that he does do right. Be grateful, tell him what a great provider he is. He won't know what to think. Remember this if nothing else. "When all else fails show your gratitude to your spouse." You ultimately will get what you want so be smart but most importantly, be patient. It's a process!
You CAN save your marriage - even if your spouse says that they want a divorce.
You CAN rebuild that passion you felt for one another when you first kissed. And you can bring back that love and devotion you felt for one another when both of you said, "I love you" for the first time.
If you feel like your marriage is worth fighting for, then do yourself a favour and visit the next page that will teach you everything you need to know about salvaging the most important thing in the world: Save Your Marriage Now
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Related Resources
I Hate Being In A Sexless Marriage
Signs Of Reconciliation After Separation
My Husband Wants A Divorce But Wants To Stay Friends
Your thoughts and suggestions obviously are from the mind of a selfish narcissistic MAN! Every single suggestion puts it all on the woman. You suck.