I Hate Being In A Sexless Marriage: When Your Marriage Becomes Sexless
I hate being in a sexless marriage - When your marriage becomes sexless.
Have you and your husband hit a point in your marriage where the only thing happening in your bedroom is five to eight hours of sleep a night? It's important to understand that this happens to a large percentage of married couples. The reason this situation is more common than most people realize is because life gets in the way. When you're a newlywed, you and your husband have plenty of time to enjoy being intimate with each other. However, as the years go by, this is no longer the case. Whether it's the stress you experience at work, the responsibility of raising kids, or both of these factors, by the time you and your husband climb into bed at night, you're both so exhausted that sleep is really the only thing you care about doing.
The other reason that marriages become sexless is because it's very easy for married couples to fall into a comfortable but dull routine. Although feeling comfortable around your husband is obviously important for successfully living together, there is a difference between feeling comfortable and treating each other like roommates instead of husband and wife. Once you get to the point of treating each other like roommates, sex simply falls off the map of possibilities.
Sex and the intimacy that goes along with it are an incredible experience. It's because of this incredible shared experience that sex is essential for a happy and healthy marriage. While your marriage can survive without sex, it's not going to thrive without it. Although sex is just one factor that goes into making a happy and healthy marriage, it is a very important one that needs to be present. If sex is not currently present in your marriage, it's time to bring it back.
In order to bring sex back into your marriage, you have to address both of the issues that lead to a sexless marriage. The first issue you have to address is you and your husband's lack of time and energy. In order to have an enjoyable sex life, you have to make time for it. While there is no doubt that both of your lives are filled with a lot of stress and responsibility, the simple fact is that you can still find time to enjoy being intimate with each other. The key to doing this is to make your time together a priority. Instead of both lounging on the couch and watching TV for an hour at night, take half or all of that time and transfer it up to the bedroom together.
On the issue of energy, while engaging physically with each other can do wonders for your energy level, if you are both truly too tired at night to enjoy making love to each other, that's still not an excuse for skipping sex. To solve this problem, start going to bed a half hour earlier each night. Then in the mornings, you will be able to get up thirty minutes earlier. This will give you and your husband time to start your day off with something that is much tastier than a bowl of Wheaties. And when you start your days off on such a high note, you may find that it makes the rest of both of your days much less stressful and overwhelming.
The other issue you need to address is going from "roommates" back to lovers. To do this, you need to spice things up so that both of you will be in the mood to tear each others clothes off. While there is a vast amount of tips and tricks for dialing up the heat in your bedroom, the most important fact to keep in mind is that all men are visual creatures. If you want to spice things up, you can start by giving your husband something to look at that he's not going to be able to ignore!
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What is a sexless marriage? It is a marriage with little or no sexual activities. Experts describe that couples who are having sex 10 times or less in a year is considered living in a sexless marriage. Although it is best for couples to keep a healthy and active sex life, it is not uncommon for couples to live in marriage without sex. Can couples cope with a sexless marriage?
There are many reasons why a marriage becomes sexless. It can be caused by medical issues, couples became too busy with their careers and jobs, having children, exhaustion, lack of sex drive or desire, etc. If you decided to stay in a sexless marriage, no matter what the cause of the lack of sex in your marriage, coping with a sexless relationship needs some work.
Choosing to stay in a sexless marriage is a personal choice but it is worth saving your marriage. Can this kind of marriage work? It don't work in every marriage but to others, yes, a sexless marriage works. There are couples who are in a sexless marriage for years and yet living a happy, meaningful married life because they've learned to cope with a sexless marriage.
Here are some helpful ways to cope with a sexless marriage.
Do not blame yourself or your spouse. The lack of sex in your marriage doesn't mean you are no longer desirable or attractive. There are many reasons behind a sexless marriage and it is an issue that both you and your spouse are involved so it is not entirely your fault. Do not blame your spouse either because blaming is not the solution to this issue but it will just aggravate the situation. You and your partner are in this together so it is best to face this issue together to find the best solution. It is less challenging to cope with a sexless marriage if you will stop blaming each other.
Have an agreement or compromise. It is important for both partners to talk about the lack of sex in their marriage. It is best if you both agree and decided to live a meaningful and happy married life despite the lack of sex in your relationship. It is not easy, as you both may encounter trials and challenges while trying to cope with a sexless marriage but what is important is that you communicate about it and be able to find the middle ground, compromise and come out with an agreement. You both have to work hard together than other couples to be able to cope with a sexless marriage.
Explore other ways to stay emotionally and physically connected. Understand that emotional intimacy in a marriage cannot be attained through sexual intercourse only. Although it may be true that sex is one of the best ways for couples to connect emotionally, the lack of sex doesn't mean your marriage is doomed. There are other ways for spouses to stay emotionally connected. Lack of sex is not uncommon in a marriage and there are celibate couples who lead a meaningful and happy married life. Stay emotionally and physically connected with each other. Emotional intimacy is not only about sexual intimacy but it is more about matters of the heart. Emotional connection with each other doesn't always involve your genitals. Explore other ways to stay connected with each other. Emotional connection can be made by making time for each other, communicating regularly, listening to each other, opening up with each other, doing things together, playing together, creating new hobbies or memories together, taking a vacation or couples retreat together. Explore other ways to stay physically intimate with each other. Hugging each other more, kissing regularly or massaging your spouse are some ways to stay physically connected with each other.
Work on the issues behind your sexless marriage. There's nothing much you can do if the reason behind your sexless marriage is a medical issue but to accept the reality and try your best to cope with a sexless marriage. If the reason for the lack of sex in your marriage is something else, it is best to work on the issues together. If it's not a medical issue, what's causing your lack of sex drive? Is the lack of physical intimacy a result of unresolved marital issues? Is your careers or individual issues causing you to drift apart? Sometimes the lack of sex is not the problem but it is the result of other issues in your marriage. While you may both consider that it is okay not to have frequent sex with each other, still it is best to work on the underlying issues to make sure that your marriage is okay and there are no unresolved issues. If you need help to resolve the issues causing your sexless marriage, do not hesitate to seek help. It is best to exhaust all possible solutions to save your marriage.
Focus on the wonderful things your marriage have and not what's lacking in your marriage. It can be more challenging and frustrating to cope with a sexless marriage if you will keep thinking about what is lacking in your marriage so stop being negative and start focusing on the positive side of your marriage. Sex maybe one important part of a marriage but there are other things in your marriage that you should be grateful and those things may serve as reasons why you should continue loving and respecting your spouse. Is the lack of sex in your marriage enough reason to leave your marriage? I hope not, because true love must be beyond sex.
You CAN save your marriage - even if your spouse says that they want a divorce.
You CAN rebuild that passion you felt for one another when you first kissed. And you can bring back that love and devotion you felt for one another when both of you said, "I love you" for the first time.
If you feel like your marriage is worth fighting for, then do yourself a favour and visit the next page that will teach you everything you need to know about salvaging the most important thing in the world: Save Your Marriage Now
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